realizing i am an open person and what i’ve learnt so far…
Something I think about a lot is how people for some reason feel very happy to share so many things about themselves with me.
For me, I’ve always thought ‘oh I just ask ‘good’ questions that make them open up, which I do think is a part of it, BUT…
I’ve had a few instances recently where I barely ask anything at all and I get told so so much.
Which makes me think, I must be an open person for people to share these things!
Story time
The moment it kind of clicked for me is I recently went on a trip. On the flight I had a lady sitting next to me. Within the first 30 minutes to an hour she shared her whole life story. I knew all the places she’d lived, where she had vacationed to, how many children and grandchildren, all of her relationship woes, her family dynamics, and well the list goes on!
I slept pretty much all the flight, but any time I woke up she was ready to share something else with me. And yes, I was actually just putting this down to flight nerves, and wanting to have someone to talk to, but I finally woke up when we landed and she thanked me so much for being such a good seat mate on the flight. Truly I was shocked as I had slept for around 90% of the flight!!!
My partner also said that if they were sitting next to her, that whole situation definitely would not have happened.
And of course, this is just one example but I’m realizing I’ve been in sooo many situations like this! So many times people have said too ‘not sure why I shared so much with you’ or ‘I haven’t actually told anyone that’.
With in this sharing I do see how almost therapeutic and relieving it is for people to be able to share. Honestly, I actually LOVE this! Hence why I’m working on building something where I can do this for a living. But the main question I’ve been asking myself is…
WHY ME ?!
From deep reflection on my part, thinking yea.. why DO people share so much with me?
I do think it is because I’m an open and curious person by nature. Maybe something about me makes them feel safe with the openness and willingness to listen. This reflection is also helping me see more and more just how much your energy affects people.
I actually feel so grateful that people feel that they are able to share with me!
Such a lovely thing to be able to connect with people like this. Plus, it is such a reciprocal energy in that, of course they get to share and I can see how it makes them feel lighter. But, it is making me grow as I’m realizing…
hey I’m actually enjoying this so maybe it’s something I can explore more and use to help others. Incredible!
As nice as this all sounds, it of course isn’t without its challenges so I do want to mention…
being open: ~~~ THE SHADOW SIDE ~~~
Ah.. the shadow side.
For those of you who don’t know is that things that are positive, also have a flip side if you will — the parts that are difficult to navigate.
For me, this is being so so SO susceptible to other peoples energies.
Any shift in mood, I will feel and respond subconsciously, and shut down almost. Which seems to be my body signaling ‘hey… this is not the vibe, let’s tap out’ . OR I will be carrying emotions that are not mine and it gets difficult for me to differentiate what is mine and what is not.
So yeah, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows over there as there these challenges in this as I don’t want to shut down all the time, or carry others emotions…
I want to be able to stay in MY energy and not be affected so much.
This is definitely something I am working on! With boundaries, protecting my energy and feeling balanced myself.
*I am still working on this and will share more when I have found what works for me (and hopefully will work for you too) 🙂
Why does any of this matter?
Wellll, I am so grateful to be able to be trusted to be a safe space for others to share information!
Listening and helping people feel seen is something I feel is needed in this world.
That’s why I’m leaning in. I’m taking steps to hone in to this natural ability, to build something meaningful from it. Not just being the person on the plane who listens, but someone who can truly help others transform their lives.
I truly have no idea where this path will land me. But it feels like I’d be silly not to explore it further.
